Depression and Suicidal tendencies – A lethal combination

The Covid 19 pandemic and the resultant lock-down has irreversibly changed our lives for ever. Many of the normal things that we used to do has become abnormal, there is a new normal around us, we kind of have a gut feeling that many of the changes are here to stay at least for a while. Being cloistered in the four walls of our house for indefinite periods has had some positive effects but there are also many negatives that is slowly emerging. One of that is definitely anxiety and depression which is pushing many to take rash and violent actions including suicidal tendencies. 

People who look absolutely perfect, leading seemingly happy and healthy lives are suddenly attempting suicide and many are sadly succeeding in it. There are many who are sharing online about their dark and negative thoughts, utter hopelessness and discouragement due to the economic downturn and job losses, there is fear and anxiety in many and the irony is that even with the increasing digital and social media connections many are complaining of loneliness. 

One of the main culprit that is wrecking havoc in many young lives is Depression, a word that is taken very lightly in our society. Many of us think it is some kind of a mental or emotional issue which is temporary and the person will overcome it by himself or herself. Many have the misconception that it is a passing phase of sadness or grief and that time will heal. There is also a lot of shame, stigma and superstition associated with depression in our culture and because of the social stigma many people are afraid to even talk about it or come out in the open and ask for help, they would rather be silent and struggle with it alone and end up taking the extreme step of suicide as an easy exit.

Sadly the case is not much different among believers and in believing homes and churches. Some of the shocking cases of suicides in the recent past were from homes of prominent Christian leaders and believer’s, the signs of depression and suicidal tendencies which were obvious for some time was not even noticed or if noticed was not addressed in the right way. There is a lot of ignorance and misconceptions on depression even among well-educated believer’s and pastors.  I have seen cases where depression and suicidal tendencies were seen as attacks of the evil spirit and evil possession and instead of being clinically treated and counselled was prayed, ‘bound and cast out’ with no relief for the person. Yes! no doubt the devil plays havoc in many lives and a warfare is going on around us for our minds but we need to have a clear discernment between what is depression and an evil spirit attack, in order to rightly treat and help the person to come out of it.

According to American Psychiatric Association; Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function at work and at home.

Symptoms of Depression may include:

v  Feeling sad or having a depressed mood

v  Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, increasingly withdrawing from social activities and people, would prefer to be alone. 

v  Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting

v  Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

v  Loss of energy or increased fatigue

v  Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)

v  Feeling worthless or guilty

v  Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions

v  Thoughts of death or suicide. 

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

Some time ago, during a seminar on depression, after the facilitator went through the list of symptoms, a couple of youngsters came and told me that they have some of these symptoms and they were kind of concerned. Interestingly these were young missionaries struggling with life and ministry, but the good thing for them was it was a temporary phenomenon. Symptoms must last at least two weeks for a diagnosis of depression.

Parents, friends, pastors, youth leaders watch out for these symptoms in the people whom you are close to or are discipling. Please do not ignore or take it lightly, take initiative and be a good listener, you might help save a life from suicide.

One cannot simply ‘wish away’ the symptoms and just ‘snap out’ of depression, it can zap your energy and drain you out, it can make one feel totally hopeless and negative that even taking that first simple step becomes a herculean task. But as said at the beginning, it is treatable and curable, one can overcome it with the right help.

Coping with Depression:

The first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem, reach out and get help. The natural tendency of a person depressed is to withdraw and isolate himself or herself, even from close family members. It is extremely difficult to be open about it and reach out. Getting support is essential, depression cannot be fought alone.

Look for support from people who make you feel safe and cared for. Make face time a priority, not through social media or phone, but face to face quality time. Talk about your feelings and be open.

Do things that will make you feel good. Be involved in things that you enjoy and avoid the ones that stress you out. Volunteer to help others or be involved in a cause. Try and maintain simple routines like good sleep on time, regular exercise, eating healthy diet, reading, listening to music etc.

Get a healthy and regular dose of sunlight. Sunlight can help boost our serotonin levels and improve your mood. Take a walk in the sun for 10-15 minutes but be careful that it is not during the heat of the day. Increase the amount of natural light in your home and avoid sitting in the dark.

Challenge negative thinking. Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including the way you see yourself and your expectations for the future. The pessimistic thoughts and distortions are not true or do not hold ground. Check if it is over-generalization, just emotional, or jumping to conclusion, put your thoughts on a witness stand and challenge them. Cultivate a 'can do' mentality vs 'I can't'. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

Constantly renew your mind with what the word of God is telling about you. That is the truth about you and me, that God loves us immensely and he has great plans for us and we are destined to be a success. Keep the Phil 4:8 rule to check our thoughts, think on true, pure, good, lovely, praiseworthy, excellent etc. Take time to meditate on it and be still. 

Seek professional help if you are seeing no improvement or the situation worsening even after taking these steps and making life changes. Do not hesitate or delay.

What can we do as a friend, counselor and mentor or guide to help prevent suicide?

One campaign that’s doing just that is #BeThe1To, to educate the public about the importance of being there for someone who is struggling or in crisis.

#BeThe1To outlines five action steps for communicating with someone who may be suicidal: https://www.bethe1to.com/bethe1to-steps-evidence/

1. Ask: Asking the question “Are you thinking about suicide?” communicates that you’re open to speaking about suicide in a non-judgmental and supportive way.

2. Keep them safe: After the “Ask” step, and you’ve determined suicide is indeed being talked about, it’s important to find out a few things to establish immediate safety.

3. Be there: This could mean being physically present for someone, speaking with them on the phone when you can, or any other way that shows support for the person at risk.

4. Help them connect: Helping someone with thoughts of suicide connect with ongoing supports like https://mystruggles.in/ ;  Hopeline Ek Nayi Aasha - 9930777037
(022 2754 6669 AASRA: Languages: English, Hindi Website: www.aasra.info) can help them establish a safety net for those moments they find themselves in a crisis.

5. Follow up: After your initial contact with a person experiencing thoughts of suicide, and after you’ve connected them with the immediate support systems they need, make sure to follow-up with them to see how they’re doing.