How can a young man keep his ways pure?

Recently one young man with whom I am on a spiritual Journey asked me, “bro, tell me how can I live a holy life, how can I stay pure?” This is probably the most pertinent question that has been troubling young men who long to live a life pleasing to the lord. In the longest Psalm that King David wrote; Psalm 119 verse 9, he raises this same profound question and then he goes on to answer it by making it look so simple, “by keeping it according to your word”. One starts wondering, what! Is that so easy? I have been trying my best, but somehow missing the mark, I can’t figure out where exactly I am going wrong. How on earth can I keep all of God’s words and be pure?

Every young believer, whom I have come across, genuinely desires to live a life that is holy and pure, the intentions are all there and it is good but most of them fail miserably, it is a struggle for many- falling, failing and scrambling to stand up somehow and moving forward. Well that might be the summary of most of our lives right? But is that what we were meant for, when Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life and that you might have it abundantly” (John 10:10b) Most youngsters wonder, is that ‘abundant, overflowing, adventurous’ life that Jesus is offering a mirage or an unrealistic distant dream. What exactly did He mean by abundant life? Well before we answer that let us look at what keeps us bogged down? What are somethings which are seriously hindering our desire to live pure lives?

In the book of Hebrews chapter 12 verse one; the writer talks about running the race that is set before each of us, by laying aside every encumbrance and the sin which so “easily entangles”. We are called to throw away every hindrance and the sin that clings to us. For any young man living in such a time as this where you are permeated with sex, immorality and  every conceivable sin just at the swipe of your finger, the question assumes utmost significance. Even though ‘the Sin that so easily entangles’ here refers mainly to the ‘sin of unbelief’, I am using this in a general sense of any sin that so easily entangles our feet and trips us down which is all around us and young men need to beware and be on the alert always.

Sins that easily entangles a young man:

v Pornography – young or old, no man can claim total immunity from this vicious sin. We are living in a sexually explicit world where even the advertisements for biscuits are not spared from sexual innuendos. It is lurking around the corner waiting to pop up on our mobiles, iPad’s and desktops. It comes in, dressed up most of the time as innocuous looking websites that suddenly changes dress and drags the unsuspecting prey into its vicious grip and makes him a slave. It usually starts as soft porn where I have often heard youngsters say, it is okay, it is not explicit and it is just bawdy and funny. Many of them who started there have graduated to the explicit X-rated ones in no time. With all the protection software’s and firewalls installed, still this plague can creep into our systems and trap us if we are lax even for a second.  When seasoned pastors and Christian leaders are falling prey to this cancerous disease it is difficult to expect a young energetic man to stay safe playing with this fire. 

Research have proven that a single pornographic image can remain in our minds for many years and watching porn can seriously affect our brain, our sexuality and our spiritual life. The addictive nature of pornography is proven beyond dispute. Just as a drug user must consume greater and more powerful quantities of drugs to achieve the same “high,” pornography drags a person deeper and deeper into hard-core sexual addictions and ungodly desires. Perhaps more than anything else, Satan has succeeded in twisting and perverting sex. He has taken what is God intended, good and right (loving sex between a husband and wife) and replaced it with lust, pornography and adultery. Pornography can be the first step on a very slippery slope of ever-increasing sexual immorality. It perverts our understanding of Sex and distorts the image of women, who is created in the image of God to a mere sexual object to satisfy our lust.

For those young believers who are trapped in this poisonous web there is an escape, there is victory for them in Jesus. He has already won it for us on the cross, we need only to appropriate it. All you need to do is Reboot, Renew and Rewire.

§  Reboot – Acknowledge that you have a problem with pornography and that you are living a life of sin and lies. Confess your sins to God (1John 1:9) Repent – take a u turn and don’t go back that way again. Jesus has paid with His death on the cross for all your sins.

§  Renew – ask God to cleanse, renew and transform your mind (Romans 12:2) Guard and check your thoughts (Philippians 4:8) Surrender wholly to the power of the Holy Spirit to Guide you. (Ephesians 5:18)

§  Rewire – Stay away from sites and circumstances that tempt you, limit your time on net, gadgets or books that leads you to that road. Install protection software’s on your systems that will block and keep off unwanted sites. Most importantly have a friend whom you trust to hold you accountable and pray for you.

v Masturbation – An oft repeated question that I hear from some of the young men I mentor is, “brother, is masturbation a Sin? What does the Bible say about it?” Well, it is sort of a tricky question, as Bible does not explicitly mention about masturbation or whether it is a sin or not? But while the bible does not state anything explicitly on this, there is no doubt about the fact that, the thoughts and actions leading to masturbation is sinful. It is proven beyond doubt that the very act of masturbation is the result of lustful thoughts, sexual fantasies or stimulus from pornographic images which are outright sinful. It emanates from a very selfish, lustful desire to satisfy oneself outside the God intended way of sex between a husband and wife in marriage. So will you still hesitate to call that a sin?

This is one topic that has remained taboo in Christian circles, many Christians recoil from discussing and dealing with it and sadly youngsters go to the so called worldly experts or friends to clear their doubts and land up with wrong conclusions. I have seen many youngsters living in years of shame and guilt, tormented that they cannot open it up with a believer fearing condemnation or being judged.

As it is said, “you sow a thought - you reap and action; sow an action – reap a habit and sow a habit – reap a character”. It all begins when a little seed of a lustful thought germinates into an action which blooms into a habit. As Proverbs 4:23 says, “above all else guard your hearts with all diligence for from it flows the springs of life” again in Mathew 15:19 we are reminded, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander”. We need to guard our thoughts and make it pass through the filter of Philippians 4:8, whether it is true, noble, right, pure, lovely or excellent. 

Further, we need to remember that our bodies have been redeemed and they belong to God. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your body” (I Corinthians 6:19-20).  So does the act of masturbation honour's God with your bodies? You would definitely agree that it dishonours God in a big way. Then why continue to live that lie which only  leads to guilt, shame and mental agony, the sooner you get out of it, the safer you are from mental, spiritual and physical repercussions. Anyone who is addicted to pornography and the resultant act of masturbation is sure to face long term adverse effects on his sexuality, marriage and thought process which will seriously affect his future.   

v Sexual Promiscuity - or sexual immorality is any type of sexual relationships or sexual expressions outside the boundaries of a biblically defined marriage relationship. It is primarily used of pre-marital sexual relationship. This is so pervasive in our society today that it is not just the youngsters who are falling prey to it, it has not spared the Christian leaders too.

A recent news item in one of the Christian news magazine was only pointing to this trend when it reported about a senior pastor in Florida, USA, who recently authored a book focused on issues of “godly manhood”, was sent running naked for his life after one of his parishioners found him in bed with his wife and later he had the shameless audacity to say that he will not resign as God has already forgiven him. If that is the case with the so called Christian leaders then it is no surprise to find youngsters as sitting ducks to this evil that so easily entangles. 

Sexual promiscuity is rampant among the present day youngsters in high schools and colleges and many young believers are increasingly falling prey to this evil.  It usually starts with a casual love affair, terribly inspired by our own Bollywood, kollywood or whatever desi-wood that might be and as they progress, all boundaries are thrown in the wind and they end up in some kind of sexual activity which they call experimenting or a casual fling. It is alarming to hear from increasing number of young believers that they have already experienced some kind of sexual activity before marriage and have involved in promiscuous sex. Very often the excuses are, we love each other, we are planning to marry, times have changed, we need to know if we are compatible before we marry, God understands, I have confessed it etc. 

In 1 Corinthians  6:18 we are commanded, “to flee from sexual immorality, all other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body”. God abhors sexual immorality and the Bible is full of constant warnings against this one sin. It is compared to idolatry, the bodies of believers are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Pagan idolatry very often involved sexually immoral practices and when a believer is involved in sexual immorality he is doing the very same thing with his body (the temple of God) which is detestable to God. God commands us to be Holy because He is holy (1Peter 1:16) and to “be holy” simply means to “be set apart” set apart from sin, set apart for God’s purposes. We are vessels set apart by God for special purposes, made holy, useful to our master. (2 Tim 2:20-23)   

Sexuality is Gods sacred gift to mankind and it is to be enjoyed in the covenant relationship of marriage between one man and one women. Abuse of this gift in any way outside of marriage is sin and God takes that seriously. Young men, it is really dangerous for you to abuse this gift and if you seriously love someone you would genuinely respect that person and protect her integrity and wait patiently till marriage. Remember the words of the wise man in Proverbs 6:27, “can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned.” Let me conclude with the words of King David in Psalm 119 verse 11, “I have hidden your words in my heart that I might not sin against you”